The human mind is a masterpiece of evolution. Not only because of its intelligence but even more so due to the ability of its owners to rewire themselves through conscious discipline. Despite our predisposition (genetic, environmental or otherwise) the human brain has what's called amazing plasticity.
Five of common behaviors the overwhelming majority of impediments and obstacles to our success and happiness.
Complaining
Complaining is not only futile but it also comes with dire consequences for your self-esteem, confidence, your mental, emotional, and physical well being. As Jessica Stillman wrote in a previous Inc.com article, Complaining Rewires Your Brain For Negativity, regular complaining actually causes your brain to feed on negativity and to become addicted to it.
Instead of complaining what if you simply focused on solving the problem you're complaining about?
Blaming
Once you establish a steady diet of complaints the natural progression is to go on to blaming--everyone and everything other than yourself. And here's the greatest irony. The smarter you are the better your ability to construct scenarios under which there are bulletproof reasons why you are the only one who should not take responsibility for your actions or your outcomes.
Avoiding
Rather than be ruled by the behavior of avoidance what if you regarded the fear of what you are trying to avoid as a compass setting for what you need to overcome? When I look at my own life it is those things that I was once most fearful of, which, when overcome and ultimately mastered, were the greatest contributors to my success and happiness. Funny how that works!
Denying
If you practice avoidance long enough you get really good at actually denying that there is anything to avoid to begin with! Living in the state of denial is perhaps the sorriest place of all to take up residence because now the thing you most need to overcome has become invisible to you.
Regretting
Ah, yes, the most seductive and counter productive behavior of all, regret. But, wait, you want to learn from your mistakes, right? So, isn't a bit of contemplation about what went wrong required in order to make sure you've learned the lessons of the past? Well, here's a radical idea, what if nothing went wrong? What if it all happened exactly as it was supposed to happen for a reason that can only be understood by moving forwards rather than looking backwards?
Better yet, subscribe to the school of thought summed up in this quote from Sydney J. Harris, "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
In other words, if you tried but have not yet succeed then congratulate yourself for having the courage to try — thereby extinguishing the word regret from your vocabulary.
Now What?
So, now that you you know what not to do the question still remains, how do you not do it? Well, I have a suggestion for your first resolution of 2017 — if you're up to the challenge. It's called the 7-day behavioral cleanse. Only this one won't have you running to the john every 15 minutes.
What I'd like you to do is commit for just the first seven days of 2017 to eliminating each of these five behaviors from your behavioral vocabulary. No complaining, blaming, avoiding, denying, or regretting. Adopt a zero tolerance rule. If you catch yourself doing any of them just STOP!
Instead of complaining solve.
Instead of blaming take responsibility.
Instead of avoiding face your fear.
Instead of denying a problem embrace it.
Instead of regretting celebrate having tried.
Go ahead. It's only seven days out of 365. Who knows, maybe you'll find that after losing a few pounds of negativity and rewiring brain you'll take up piano and learn Mandarin as well.